Alien Nation
Salaam ‘Alaikum
Alien Bea is here in Jordan and stayed the weekend with us. We had loads of fun and went all over. Pizza, burgers, popcorn. She’s going back this weekend. Wish I was going with her.
4 comments July 23rd, 2008
Salaam ‘Alaikum
Being as out of the loop as I am, I just heard this morning that Radovan Karadzic has finally, finally, finally, finally been captured. Finally. He’s been posing as a doctor of alternative medicine, promoting the healing of the body and mind when he himself is responsible for the destruction of the bodies, minds, and souls of so many thousands of people. Finally.
In other news, Estelle Getty, who played Sophia on ‘The Golden Girls’ died. I know it’s not on the same scale as Karadzic… it’s just something from my childhood. (Yeah, at least I admit I watched ‘Golden Girls.’)
2 comments July 23rd, 2008
See K-Town
Salaam ‘Alaikum
Where “X” equals new buildings that have gone up since 2006.
Where “1″ equals a building that wasn’t finished being built when this was taken.
Where the distance between 1 and 2 equals “someone at the kitchen windows at 1 can see into the windows of 2.” Where the distance between 1 and 2 equals “can you look out the window and see if they’ve finished Jumu’ah yet?” This should give you perspective.
Where “♥” = place of dhikr
5 comments July 16th, 2008
I Thank You
Salaam ‘Alaikum
I want to make sure you saw this, those to whom it is addressed:
I am sorry for the abuse heaped upon you. For the record, I did not ask anyone to write to her on my behalf. You did so of your own accord — out of a sense of concern for her and for me. This is the fruit of Islamic sister and brotherhood. May God reward you for your sincere efforts on our behalf. If the letters that were quoted to me are accurate — and I believe they are, gentle readers — then you were all nicer in your initial correspondence than I was, proving, again, that I am the worst of the lot. I am sorry that was the response you got, and I am sorry that you experienced it on my behalf.
I am doing my best to put this behind me and let the two internet companies involved deal with it through their established channels. I don’t know if I have high hopes, but I do have confidence knowing that this matter is recorded with the One whose arbitration is ultimately of the utmost importance. I wish that it would be resolved in a happier way, today or tomorrow, but hopefully before anyone is lying in their grave. Subhan’Allah.
3 comments July 14th, 2008
Enjoin Good
Salaam ‘Alaikum
I know my life is small. Look at the cosmos. If you have any common sense you will see how small and insignificant your life is in the grand scheme of things. The way we think of the lives of ants and gnats — that is what our life is in the universe.
And yet for each one of us, our life is the universe — our universe. Little things can change the whole course of your life. Little things can make your day or send it to the garbage. You know how they say that the flutter of a butterfly’s wings can change the course of global weather? That is how little flutters affect each and every one of our small, little lives.
It is a little thing that this sister did what she did. There are little things that she compounded on top of it. And those little things come on the heels of ten years of little things from the Muslim community. Because the kind words, the praise, the awards, the need to up my traffic limits because so many people read or visit — it pales when these things come on my head. They are little things, but they can change so much.
It’s little and it’s petty, I know that. I know it is insignificant that this is not the first time my Islam has been called into question because I dared assert my secular and Islamic right to copyright. I know I should just brush off the takfirs and the attacks. You would think I would be used to it — for these things started as soon as I started writing for the Muslims, more than 10 years ago. In addition, I have to deal with these sorts of people on a professional level. I know I should let God deal with it, as He does with all things.
I recognized when I was wrong, and I removed almost all of the text that I had written with regards to this person and her site (who I never, ever named — she did that herself — although I briefly had a link to her site, which I removed after about 15 minutes). But I am angry, and I have a right. I have a right in Islam and I have a right in the United Kingdom, and I have that right in the United States. And it was violated by someone who purports to be serving the Muslims.
So often, I have been gentle with people who violate my work. Many times, I have let it slide. I don’t, however, let it slide on commercial ventures. You don’t get to make money with my work. If it wasn’t important to your commercial venture, you wouldn’t have taken it in the first place. It doesn’t matter who owns the store. It doesn’t matter if it is a struggling Muslima housewife or if a sheikh invested some money in it and then sat back and let someone else attend to the day to day. It matters what you have done. You have used my work to make money without my permission or without offering compensation. If you didn’t think it was important to your venture, you wouldn’t have used it to begin with.
If you can’t or won’t do the work, why not write to a person and offer them fair market compensation to write all-new, original text for your site? Muslim writers get no respect and very little work within the community. Many would jump at a commercial writing opportunity like this. Instead, Muslims bootleg, plagiarize, violate copyright, and then wonder why Muslim writers jump at the opportunity to write for secular, mainstream, and non-Muslim publications and books. People wonder why so many Muslim writers are so cynical… maybe it is their cumulative experiences of dealing with other Muslims as writers.
I was talking to a friend the other day and noted how you could have 35 people say beautiful things to you, and greet you, and ask after your health, and one person ignore you. And that one person is going to ruin and color things for you. Well, for most people. I don’t know why the negative things make the positive pale in comparison. I don’t know why I can’t look at the people who have thanked me, written me, and done good for me because of my work and let the Negative Nellies pale in comparison. You see — even in my own little life, certain things seem bigger than they truly are.
It’s easy to say, “Be the grown-up here,” but I am so tired, Muslims. I don’t want her to put a half-hearted credit. I don’t want a debate — because there is no debate. I want her to remove it. I don’t understand why that is so hard to do. Why is it so hard to do what I ask, when I am the owner, I am the originator, I am the author, I am the copyright holder? Because you don’t want to do it. That’s it. That is the only reason. You don’t want to.
This is how we, as a people, are living our lives, and dealing with each other, and relating to our Creator. I don’t want to. Ultimately, it comes down to this. I don’t want to. We make all sorts of excuses and assign all sorts of blame, when the truth is that we just don’t want to. Be honest, Muslims. Say you don’t want to. You don’t want to be fair to the women in your community, for example. For whatever reason. You just don’t want to. You want what you want, and you don’t want to do anything that will lessen or compromise the benefits you have given yourself. Say, “I don’t want to.” Don’t use Islam as your reason. Don’t hide behind Allah because the Day will come when there is no hiding behind the Throne.
If you want to be racist, just say it. If you don’t want to give money and time to build an Islamic day school for the kids in your community, even though you demand a top-notch school, then just say it. I don’t want to be fair. Just be honest. Oh wait. We don’t want to.
Say that you would rather pretend to be two other people and intimidate someone with false words than just go hit “delete, delete, delete.” Say that you would rather put that effort forth than the effort of doing your own work. Just say it. Be honest.
Say you don’t want to — because this is what you mean. Say you don’t want to and prepare yourself for the consequences. This Ummah says, “I don’t want to,” and then we get angry when the consequences are carried out upon us — as individuals, as communities, as an Ummah. We get angry at the creation — but there will be no anger when we face the Creator. Only terror and sorrow as we face those we wronged. We will have to face all of those who whom we said, “I don’t care,” Muslim and non-Muslim, and the price will be paid. We will beg forgiveness sooner or later.
I am not the Muslim people sometimes think I am. I am not pious and gentle. I am rough and crude, lazy and awkward. I am not always nice, I almost never say the right things. I spend more time with secular books than with Islamic books. I don’t go proudly forth, representing Islam every time I leave my front steps. I don’t embody the ideal of “Traditional Islam ™” or anything else. I struggle like anyone else. But I know that where I have been wronged, I have a right. And I know and accept that where I have wronged, others have rights. I know this, and I see it is true. I am not Polly Pious. I know that others have rights over me, I know that I have said and done things that should never have been said or done. I accept this. We all should. We should stop worrying so much about telling others how to be Muslim and instead enjoin some good and forbid some evil on ourselves.
I have seen where I have been wrong — not just here, but in other instances in my life, and tried to correct it. If I couldn’t, I have gone to the Lord with it, as advised by the Messenger of Allah (sallalahu aleyhi wa salaam) and his inheritors, the ‘ulema and the awliya. It is only because I am fully aware of my faults and shortcomings that I am able to pass on any advice to anyone else. Be who I am not. Aspire to heights I don’t bother with. Learn from my mistakes. Be better than I am. I want you to be better than I am. From these depths, I see what goodness is, and this is why I want you to aspire to it.
If there was a theme for my blog (other than “Look at this funny site I found, ha ha ha”), I would hope that the message is to take care of yourself before you think to take care of the business of others. On an individual, community, and Ummah-wide level. Before you start enjoining the good on other Muslims, enjoin it on yourself. Before you forbid the evil on others, forbid it on yourself. I don’t engage in these things anymore (or at least, I really try to avoid it) because I know I haven’t done the work on myself. It’s much harder to enjoin the good and forbid the evil on your own nafs than it is to tell everyone else to do it.
So stop blaming everyone for the things that you don’t do. Stop blaming the victim. Stop playing the victim. Speak the truth — to yourself and others. You don’t want to do it. You don’t want to do what is right, just, or fair if it interferes with what you want. Say it. Be honest. Tell God, “Sorry, Lord, I just don’t want to do it!”
And then take the next step — step back from it. And enjoin good and forbid evil on yourself. Ask God to put you in a place where you want to do it — however grudgingly and lazily. Whether it takes you a day to “get it” or a lifetime, do what it takes. Do what it takes. Be good. And if you can’t be good, then never stop striving to be good.
8 comments July 13th, 2008
Um. Okaaaaay.
Salaam ‘Alaikum
You know what’s less cool than taking the work of another Muslim and then passing it off as your own, and then refusing to remove it when you’re asked to do so? Writing in fake comments pretending to be a Christian, alongside the comments you write in with with your Muslim name. Writing in and telling a Muslim she has “no iman.” (I deleted that one, as I do all comments with takfir and harassment against my readers or myself.)
Writing in and saying that someone has taken you away from Islam when anyone with a brain running at 50% capacity can see that the “Christian” and the Muslim are writing from the exact same computer. That’s really not cool. It’s just … weird, actually.
And this time, you do it to yourself — I have screen captures of them and a record of the IPs. For future reference, I always keep copies of the threats and harassment that I receive. Always. Just because it never gets through to the blog doesn’t mean I deleted it without saving a copy first.
Do the right thing. Do the right thing. Remove my work. You spent more time and energy on your lovely e-mails to me than you would have writing a decent and honest “About Us” page for your company.
I am publicly and explicitly denying you the right to use any original works from modernmuslima.com or sunnisisters.com in any of your ventures, be they commercial or non-profit. You do not have the right to use any work written by Sara Umm Zaid in any venture you undertake, be it commercial or non-profit. This does not fall under the “fair use” clause of the Berne Convention (or the “Bernice Convention,” as it is known to you). You do not have the right. You want to persist, you do so in front of Allah. You want to persist, you do so in the face of consequences, including lost sales. The things you said — the ones I deleted out of the kindness of my heart — you said about your potential customers. The things you did here, you did in front of people who might have purchased your clothing. Please go read “Public Relations 101.”
I wash my hands of you. May God grant you the best in this life and the next and may He forgive you and all of us. I never wished you ill. I’m sorry the same cannot be said of your actions towards me. I remain your sister, whether you like it or not.
13 comments July 13th, 2008
Updated!
Salaam ‘Alaikum
ModernMuslima.com is about 1/3 of the way updated… although my partner is out of commission… so it’s moving slowly but surely.
Cooking zOMG, have you seen this? Didn’t you want to know where you could find Tahitian recipes *and* butter recipes? Looking for healthy soul food or kosher Asian ideas? Want to know where you can find resources on canning and pickling? Now you know. (Plus, standard recipes divided by diet, specific food, and region). This was a labor of love — and fun!
Beauty Henna, check. Long hair care, check. Natural hair care, check. Going to add more as time passes? Check-erooni.
Crafty Muslima Need something to do? Looking for a creative outlet? Thinking about a home based business? Here’s a ton of ideas, from crochet to stained glass making. Plus, gardening stuff.
Islamic Clothiers Directory This is still being updated, but I’ve changed the style, as you can see, and narrowed down my field of links.
Pregnancy & Birth Resources as well as resources for Pregnancy Loss, Complications, and Infertility I admit to being disappointed at how many resources for Muslimas have vanished…
How to Hijab Some updated tips, removed ideas that reflected those days when we didn’t have much to choose from… we’re still working on this one.
Muslim Mom’s Breastfeeding FAQ Still the original, my friends. Mainly updated for style, but some new comments as well.
7 comments July 12th, 2008
Mother Earth, Mother Board
Salaam ‘Alaikum
Only Neal Stephenson could write 54 pages on undersea cabling and make it interesting… The opening paragraphs just draw you in…
Information moves, or we move to it. Moving to it has rarely been popular and is growing unfashionable; nowadays we demand that the information come to us. This can be accomplished in three basic ways: moving physical media around, broadcasting radiation through space, and sending signals through wires. This article is about what will, for a short time anyway, be the biggest and best wire ever made.
Wires warp cyberspace in the same way wormholes warp physical space: the two points at opposite ends of a wire are, for informational purposes, the same point, even if they are on opposite sides of the planet. The cyberspace-warping power of wires, therefore, changes the geometry of the world of commerce and politics and ideas that we live in. The financial districts of New York, London, and Tokyo, linked by thousands of wires, are much closer to each other than, say, the Bronx is to Manhattan.
Today this is all quite familiar, but in the 19th century, when the first feeble bits struggled down the first undersea cable joining the Old World to the New, it must have made people’s hair stand up on end in more than just the purely electrical sense - it must have seemed supernatural. Perhaps this sort of feeling explains why when Samuel Morse stretched a wire between Washington and Baltimore in 1844, the first message he sent with his code was “What hath God wrought!” - almost as if he needed to reassure himself and others that God, and not the Devil, was behind it.
During the decades after Morse’s “What hath God wrought!” a plethora of different codes, signalling techniques, and sending and receiving machines were patented. A web of wires was spun across every modern city on the globe, and longer wires were strung between cities. Some of the early technologies were, in retrospect, flaky: one early inventor wanted to use 26-wire cables, one wire for each letter of the alphabet. But it quickly became evident that it was best to keep the number of individual wires as low as possible and find clever ways to fit more information onto them.
This requires more ingenuity than you might think - wires have never been perfectly transparent carriers of data; they have always degraded the information put into them. In general, this gets worse as the wire gets longer, and so as the early telegraph networks spanned greater distances, the people building them had to edge away from the seat-of-the-pants engineering practices that, applied in another field, gave us so many boiler explosions, and toward the more scientific approach that is the standard of practice today.
Add comment July 12th, 2008
It’s Called “NOT Cool”
Salaam ‘Alaikum
I rarely, if ever, call out copycats and plagiarists of my work in public. This time I am. This is NOT COOL.
If you’re going to make money off the Muslims, do your own work. You’re using my stuff as part of your commercial venture, and didn’t even ask or credit me, let alone pay me. Take it down. It’s not enough you couldn’t think of your own name for your site? Ugh.
Add comment July 12th, 2008
MM.com Back
Salaam ‘Alaikum
Modern Muslima.com is back online, for those who were looking for things. Still in the process of being majorly overhauled, though.
Ten years of this site… and only two imitators. 
6 comments July 11th, 2008
Watching the Boats
Salaam ‘Alaikum
I once had green tea yogurt. I have since been in the vacuum better known as HKB for two years. Apparently, green tea yogurt wars are popping up all over the place… well, if “all over the place” is NYC and LA, at any rate. What gets me is this: that it has to be green tea yogurt and nothing else, and that everyone slaps “berry” on to the name. So you have stores popping up that serve only green tea yogurt (with tasty toppings), and it’s berry this and berry that. So many that soon the Johnny-come-latelies will have to call theirs Pork and Beans Berry. Mmm.
6 comments July 10th, 2008
Oh Well
Salaam ‘Alaikum
I started writing a post in my head, and I discussed it with someone and there it is. With someone. I was going to share some of my deep insights, but then I was on the phone with b. almost all night — until 1:30 I think. Now I sleep.
2 comments July 9th, 2008
I Can Has a Nap?
Salaam ‘Alaikum
It is too hot, I am too tired, and things are too busy for me to share some of my usual cantankerous thoughts with you all. Enjoy this photo. I did not take it. I have never been to Wales. Or if you’re feeling like me, enjoy this one below.
more cat pictures
Add comment July 8th, 2008
Ghosts I Met
Salaam ‘Alaikum
I went out with some friends yesterday. We went to an Iraqi place. These are stewed apricots that came with one’s dish of maqlooba (yes, maqlooba in an Iraqi joint).
My biryani (Iraqi biryani). But by the time it came, I was full up on soup and the mezze. So I hardly ate enough to tell you how it was. And then AZ ate it all. It came with a bowl of bamiya and a bowl of fasouliya (or at least, someone had two bowls, and at any rate, I ended up with them in my bag).
I should have gotten this though. The simpler is the better… a simple chicken roasted alongside a firebrick oven or some such thing… in a clay container or some such thing. Simple, and it looks amazing.
The mezze I filled up on. Well, not just me, but I’m saying – this filled me up. Some tabbouleh that was not too tart and not too salty and not too plain… baba ghanouj that wasn’t too smokey or too tahina-y… with freshly baked bread.
I finally got my hands on one. The Hijab Bag. I “voted” for this motif in a survey many years ago and was pleased when they made it. Then they didn’t, for a long time. Hard to find. And now I have one. I might have done without the logo, but that’s the design, so… anyway, I got a new bag.
3 comments July 7th, 2008
Lookin’ For Trouble
Salaam ‘Alaikum
I’m just always interested in this place of wild greenness. It is the side of a car dealer’s office. There is ivy all over the building, on the walls in the car display lot… just one small spot of green.
(more…)
15 comments July 4th, 2008
